Ulpan: The sign said: “Learn Hebrew in 10 Days.”

06/01/2011 – א׳ בשבט ה׳תשע״א – א׳ בשבט ה׳תשע״א – 13:55
Ulpan: The sign said; "Learn Hebrew in 10 Days." You have a choice of 10 Days or Twice a week for 10 Months, either way it's hard work.

Ulpan: The sign said; "Learn Hebrew in 10 Days." You have a choice of 10 Days, 5 Days a week for 6 months or Twice a week for 10 Months, either way it's hard work.

Ulpan: The sign said; “Learn Hebrew in 10 Days.” You have a choice of 10 Days, 5 Days a week for 6 months or Twice a week for 10 Months, either way it’s hard work.[/caption]

Mr. and Mrs. Whiskers are in the Hallway at Ulpan. Mrs. Whiskers is very mad. The sign said; “Learn Hebrew in 10 Days.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “Here we are going to Ulpan and I’m the stupidest person in class… and a sign says learn Hebrew in 10 days.”
Mr. Whiskers: “One day at a time. Yesterday at the super I asked for cream cheese shel olives.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “Well shel של”
Mrs. Whiskers at Ulpan Class “Blah Blah Blah Dukma” Ulpan teacher: “I must tell you that you will never learn Hebrew in my class… for 2 days a week.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “Why am I here?”
Back Home, Mrs. Whiskers: “Look what I found Dear… Hebrew Vocabulary Cards! Maybe we could have a family learning session?
Mr. Whiskers: “yes”
Sugar: “Mom did you buy bread?’
Spice: “Any cocoa?”
Mom: “Would you like to look at the Hebrew flash cards found spice?”
Spice: “I’m having cocoa and I’m going on my computer end of story.”
“Have we arrived yet? Why are we completely confused, I know I need to spend more time with the homework. Even Calculus and C++ where better then Ulpan.”

Ulpan: Our daughter is helping us learn Hebrew. You have a choice of 10 Days or Twice a week for 10 Months, either way it's hard work.

Ulpan: Our daughter is helping us learn Hebrew. You have a choice of 10 Days or Twice a week for 10 Months, either way it's hard work.


Ulpan: Our daughter is helping us learn Hebrew. You have a choice of 10 Days or Twice a week for 10 Months, either way it’s hard work.[/caption]

Page 2
Sugar: “If you need any more help with your Hebrew homework Mom again I’ll be available at 5:30”
Mom: “I’m experiencing Role reversal”
Spice: “I’m so out of here.”
Mom looking at Mr. Whiskers: “Well he’s sucked into the vortex.”
Mom: “Card #1 אבדה אבד Av Aba father…psh I knew that one.”
“Card # 2 אבודה קנרית lose… loss a lost canary ha ha ha” “אבטיח מלונימ ואבטיחימ
Watermelon melons and watermelons” ” אביב Spring אבל but… I knew those.” ” אגוז nut אגם lake אולי maybe אבק dust מאובק dusty I should clean this place up.”
Mom: “I wrote some sentences Sugar… What do you think?”
Sugar: “Let’s translate them. I lost my canary. Father buys melons in spring but…”
Sugar: “Maybe we eat oranges today.”
Mom: “Did you know means dust.’
Sugar: ” לאט, לאט ” slowly, slowly
“You know it’s bad when your daughter has to explain everything to you and you have to call someone to explain a bill.” “I wonder if the Army will teach my daughters how to clean their room, do the dishes and kill Roaches and Spiders?”
By Staff | Posted in Aliyah: Jewish immigration to Israel, Ulpan | Tagged , | Comments Off on Ulpan: The sign said: “Learn Hebrew in 10 Days.”

Star Trek: Where no cat has gone before

04/01/2011 – כ״ט בטבת ה׳תשע״א – כ״ט בטבת ה׳תשע״א – 19:45
Star Trek: Where no cat has gone before
Star Trek: Where no cat has gone before
A group of Cats are on a Trash Dumpster. Trash or Garbage Dumpsters in Israel look like green boats or ships.
Near sunset a man puts a black swivel office arm chair in the front part of the trash dumpster. The man walks away.
At sunset a cat that is dressed as the 18th Century Vice Admiral of the White, Horatio Nelson sits in the chair, while his crew, the other cats wait for the stars. As the star come out, the Captain thinks: ‘Space, the final frontier… These are the voyages of the star ship enterprise, To boldly go where no cat has gone before!’

Star Trek – TV intro (season 1) (1966)
As life imitates art. we found a chair in the trash, with the cats looking at it very closely in the afternoon. We are waiting for nightfall to see if Captain Cat sits in the chair and looks up at the sky.

As life imitates art. we found a chair in the trash, with the cats looking at it very closely in the afternoon. We are waiting for nightfall to see if Captain Cat sits in the chair and looks up at the sky.

אִם תִּרְצוּ, אֵין זוֹ אַגָדַה

If you will it, it is no dream. Theodor Herzl Altneuland [Old, New Land] (1902)
By Staff | Posted in General: All about cats in Jerusalem | Tagged , | Comments Off on Star Trek: Where no cat has gone before

Buy locally and save.

03/01/2011 – כ״ח בטבת ה׳תשע״א – כ״ח בטבת ה׳תשע״א – 19:30
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There may be an alternative locally

Buy locally and save, money, time, and stress

A Yeshiva in Jerusalem, Men are studying.
Somewhere in the world (China) a Siamese cat is taking an internet order: “You wish to purchase this product code # 389 269 5452 9 89… Tracking # 566 8666… And that will be $100 for extra shipping costs, insurance fees…. Taxes and currency exchange costs.”
A Plane flies overhead.
Supervisor Postal Cat: “We received this package via Deer mail… Please take this to Mr. Paws on Straus St. Via #3 bus in Jerusalem.. In Back of the secret home of Rav Baker.”
Postal Cat thinking: ‘ I wonder what’s inside. It says fragile.’
Supervisor Postal Cat: “We shall expect you back at 22:00.”
Postal Cat: ” Yes, Sir.”
Supervisor Postal Cat: “Once we finish, I want you to come stay for Shabbat.”
Alien looking at the 2 Cats: “Woow!” Beep
The Alien Spacecraft: “Shabbat! wow Beep.”
Postal Cat walking on the rooftops.
Postal Cat with his iPad to Mr. Paws: “Please put your paw print on the receipt.”
Mr. Paws with the Mystical Crystal iPhone. He tries and tries to turn it on. It does not work, ”Dead on Arrival”.
Mr. Paws puts it back in the box: “Err Grrrr Oh!”
Mr. Paws to his wife: “I tried to save money buying on E-Bay… but it’s too expensive to ship it back… It’s broken. I guess I need to buy it local.”
His Wife: ‘Oh, Expensive.”
Buy locally and save. You may find a equivalent product locally at a cheaper price and with less stress and worry if something goes wrong. Remember to include the cost of Shipping, Insurance, Customs, and the cost of shipping the product back if something goes wrong. Also it may take a month to get your product from America. It may have to be examined by customs, both here and in the States.
By Staff | Posted in Aliyah: Jewish immigration to Israel, The Hamster from ZOT | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Buy locally and save.