Latma is back

06/02/2015 – י״ז בשבט ה׳תשע״ה – י״ז בשבט ה׳תשע״ה – 15:36

The first new episode has been aired to IBA’s website and can be viewed here, but currently only exists in Hebrew.

The second new episode הכול שפיט – פרק 2

Hakol Shafit, the Channel 1 TV show of right-wing satire Latma

Hakol Shafit, the Channel 1 TV show of right-wing satire Latma, was greeted with mixed reviews last Thursday when it debuted and broke the leftist monopoly on television satire – while it still is getting some skeptical criticism over some weaker skits, the show’s second airing seems to have recaptured the magic that originally gained Latma a devoted following.

The show begins with a poke at US President Barack Obama’s anti-Israel stance and his entrenched opposition to Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu’s planned Congress speech next month.

Obama can be seen, in a take-off on Martin Luther’s famous “I have a dream” speech about freedom, saying “I have a dream that the Israelis will withdraw and return to the ’67 borders – 1567. I have a dream that in Palestine a binational state will arise, comprised of the two nations, the Palestinians and the Bedouins. I have a dream that Jews of Israel will finally be able to live in peace in their homes in the Slovakian hills, in Polish valleys and villages in Libya.”

Addressing Iran, which Netanyahu plans to warn about in his speech, Obama continues “I have a dream that Iran will stop developing nuclear weapons and start producing them already. Come on, how much time can you give to development?”

After making an anti-Semitic statement that he hopes Jews will integrate in all social spheres “and not just control the banks,” Obama wakes up in the skit at the AIPAC convention, where he pledges to “have Israel’s back.”

The show only appears in Hebrew. Apparently the show is not being given an English subtitled version as Latma was on YouTube.

The show also includes an interview with Tzipi Livni and Yitzhak Herzog of the “Zionist camp” who present their vague plan of “giving the money back to the public” without explaining how.

At that point Latma favorite Tawil Fadiha, the Palestinian minister for matters of uncontrollable rage who represents the Palestinian Authority, comes in and explains his plan for Jews to leave Judea and Samaria, disband the IDF and die, which Livni and Herzog busily try to play down.

Rounding out the second week, the show went on to make fun of the media obsession with criticizing Netanyahu’s relations with America, a skit on failed ads of the leftist V-15 campaign, and another poke at the elitist leftist High Court.

Who need Ulpan when you have Latma!

OK, LATMA in English.

We’ll be the Judge, episode 2

The second episode of the Israeli satire program “We’ll be the Judge,” from the creators of Latma’s Tribal Update, Israel Channel 1, February 12, 2015

We’ll be the Judge, episode 3

The third episode of the Israeli satire program “We’ll be the Judge,” from the creators of Latma’s Tribal Update, Israel Channel 1, February 19, 2015.

We’ll be the Judge, episode 4

The Fourth episode of the Israeli satire program “We’ll be the Judge,” from the creators of Latma’s Tribal Update, Israel Channel 1, February 26, 2015.

We’ll be the Judge, episode 5

The fifth episode of the Israeli satire program “We’ll be the Judge,” from the creators of Latma’s Tribal Update, Israel Channel 1, March 5, 2015.

We’ll be the Judge, episode 6

The six episode of the Israeli satire program “We’ll be the Judge,” from the creators of Latma’s Tribal Update, Israel Channel 1, March 12, 2015.

We’ll be the Judge, episode 7 Election results

The Seven episode of the Israeli satire program “We’ll be the Judge,” from the creators of Latma’s Tribal Update, Israel Channel 1, March 19, 2015.

We’ll be the Judge, episode 8

The Eight episode of the Israeli satire program “We’ll be the Judge,” from the creators of Latma’s Tribal Update, Israel Channel 1, March 26, 2015.

We’ll be the Judge, episode 9

The ninth episode of the Israeli satire program “We’ll be the Judge,” from the creators of Latma’s Tribal Update, Israel Channel 1, April 1, 2015.

We’ll be the Judge, episode 10

The tenth episode of the Israeli satire program “We’ll be the Judge,” from the creators of Latma’s Tribal Update, Israel Channel 1, April 17, 2015.

We’ll be the Judge, episode 11

The eleventh episode of the Israeli satire program “We’ll be the Judge,” from the creators of Latma’s Tribal Update, Israel Channel 1, April 30, 2015.

There are some classic clips.

Flotilla Choir presents: We Con the World

Latma presents: The Audacity of Dopes Band brings you “Guns, Guns, Guns!”

Abba in Latma’s Studio +English Subs

By Staff | Posted in Positive Thinking | Tagged Hebrew Ulpan, Israeli humor, Latma | Comments Off

Quand est-ce que tu quittes la France?

21/01/2015 – א׳ בשבט ה׳תשע״ה – א׳ בשבט ה׳תשע״ה – 09:01

Israël : Clip pour l’Aliyah “Quand est-ce que tu quittes la France ?” Israel Clip for Aliyah “When do you leave France?”

Reportage : les juifs qui quittent la France pour israël
Report: Jews leaving France for Israel

Alyah : mode d’emploi

Alyah : mode d’emploi http://www.jewishagency.org/fr/aliyah/program/7618 Choisissez celle qui vous correspond et inscrivez-vous sur notre site Internet en cliquant ICI ou par téléphone, en appelant le Global Center au 0800 916 647 (si vous entendez un message vocal d’accueil, vous devez patienter jusqu’à ce que quelqu’un vous réponde). Le Global Center est joignable 6 jours par semaine, de 7h00 à 19h00 (du dimanche au jeudi) et de 8h00 à 12h00 le vendredi.

Alyah : mode d’emploi http://www.jewishagency.org/fr/aliyah/program/7618 Choisissez celle qui vous correspond et inscrivez-vous sur notre site Internet en cliquant ICI ou par téléphone, en appelant le Global Center au 0800 916 647 (si vous entendez un message vocal d’accueil, vous devez patienter jusqu’à ce que quelqu’un vous réponde). Le Global Center est joignable 6 jours par semaine, de 7h00 à 19h00 (du dimanche au jeudi) et de 8h00 à 12h00 le vendredi.

Reports in Israel on Friday indicated that the Jewish Agency received hundreds of calls from French Jews seeking to make aliya (immigrate) to Israel.

By Staff | Posted in Aliyah: Jewish immigration to Israel | Tagged French Aliyah | Comments Off

Kindergarten – Israeli Style

19/01/2015 – כ״ט בטבת ה׳תשע״ה – כ״ט בטבת ה׳תשע״ה – 18:39

Our future IT Staff

This is a nice cat friendly website that promotes Aliyah to Israel and will not get in to any controversy (at lest on the front page).

All Israeli Cats are required to take IDF Officers Military Training

Political Disclaimer: This is neither an endorsement nor a recommendation of any Political Party. We reserve the right to laugh at anyone. “We vow to tell the spoof, the whole spoof & nothing but the spoof”

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is playing in the kindergarten – ראש הממשלה בנימין נתניהו משחק בגן הילדים

“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”
― Winston S. Churchill

The dog is relieving himself on a campaign sign that says “Left is Meretz.”

Subtitles – commentary and additions in parentheses:
Netanyahu: “Children, calm down! We can’t accomplish anything today (while acting up). Ivette (Liberman of Yisrael Baytenu), you must left to share with the other children.”
Child Pretending to be Naftali Bennett (Bayit Yehudi) being hit by child Yair Lapid (Yesh Atid): “Ahkh, ahkh, ahkh (ouch, ouch, ouch)!”
Netanyahu: “Yes, yes, he’s an ahkh (also brother in Hebrew), he’s an ahkh.”
“Yair, stop playing with this. You are ruining it.”
Child Bennett and child Lapid: “I got it (first), I, I, it’s mine, mine, mine!”
Netanyahu: “Yair and Naftali, enough fighting over the seat.”
“Tzippy, Tzippy, Tzippy (Livni of the Zionist Union), enough running from place to place!”
“What a waste of time. We can’t continue with this kindergarten. In order to run a country, you need a strong and stable government. Vote Likud for a change of method (of running a government).”

From Rav Lazer Brody:

One Foot in the Next World

08 February 2015 http://lazerbrody.typepad.com/lazer_beams/2015/02/one-foot-in-the-next-world.html

Earlier this evening, Rav Shalom Arush eulogized Mohorosh zatza”l, and spoke about the urgent need to put an end to strife, dissension and arguments.

Rav Shalom is very close with Kabbalist Rabbi Dovid Chaim Stern shlit’a (photo, above) from Bnai Brak. During a trip to America last month, Rabbi Stern collapsed and became deathly ill. He told Rav Shalom after his miraculous recuperation that his soul was taken up to the Heavenly Court. He was told that Hashem is very displeased about the lack of ahavat Yisrael and the rampant dissension, arguing and slander among the Jewish People. The Heavenly Court decreed that Rabbi Stern would receive an extension of life simply to come back to earth to relay this message.

Rav Shalom said that all the troubles that the Jewish People are having as well as the deaths of the tzaddikim and the two soldiers who were killed in Lebanon last week are all the result of intramural hate, which we all must rid from our midst immediately.

Hope kindergarten

A brilliant skit from the Israeli comedy show “Eretz Nehederet” (lit: “Wonderful Country) on Channel 2. This skit depicts a joint education program devised by the right-wing (yet mainstream) organization Im Tirtzu with the Ministry of Education that helps kindergarten children be prepared for the complicated life in Israel.

The Many Roles of Rivka Ravitz

Rivka Ravitz is destroying stereotypes. She’s an ultra-orthodox mother of 11 who is also President Reuven Rivlin’s powerful chief of staff.

Rivka Ravitz, 39, has been called a modern-day “renaissance woman.” She is talented, well-educated and has one of the most important roles in Israeli politics. She certainly challenges the ultra-orthodox female stereotype.

Ravitz, who has been by Rivlin’s side for the past 16 years, is considered to have been the engine behind his presidential victory.

Missile Warning Times after a Palestinian State

On the right, is the missile alert map that was issued last summer in connection with Operation Protective Edge. The map shows how much time you would have to reach a shelter in the event that you are in a given area when a rocket is fired. The top time is ‘immediate,’ the next three times are 15, 30 and 45 seconds, and the last three times are a minute, a minute and a half and three minutes. The map on the left is what our warning times would look like in the event that a ‘Palestinian state’ is established in Judea and Samaria. Notice how much of the country goes from a minute and a half to 45 seconds or less….

From Rav Lazer Brody 26March2015: http://lazerbrody.typepad.com/lazer_beams/2015/03/new-height-of-treachery-usa-exposes-israels-nuclear-secrets.html

New Height of Treachery: USA Exposes Israel’s Nuclear Secrets

Above image – US satellite image of Dimona Reactor in Israel from 1968, declassified by USA and now plastered all over cyberspace and the world – courtesy of globalsecurity.org via jewishpress.com

The ink isn’t even dry on our emuna-news op-ed from yesterday, Mr. V Exposed, where I wrote that the disappointed, angry and frustrated White House now wants to revenge against Israel for reelecting Bibi. Well here it is folks – put a grenade in the hand of an arrogant and frenzied individual and there will soon be shrapnel all over the place.

The President of the United States has just betrayed Israel in the most inconceivable way: he has just revealed a stunning amount of information on some of Israel’s most closely guarded secrets, including our nuclear program, complete with photographs. You can believe that there’s dancing in the streets of Tehran, Damascus and Beirut this morning. We thank The Jewish Press and our good friend Mark R. from Haifa for the tipoff.

Does anyone still have any doubt about the treachery in Washington, DC? How can any Jew support a regime that intentionally endangers 6 million Jews (does the number sound familiar) in Israel?

One thing I’m delighted about – our prophets said that once the Geula begins, Israel will stand alone with no friends. Terrific, let’s get on with the full redemption of our people. Brothers and sisters wherever you are, please come home soon – it’s time to leave your Egypt while you still can. Today, your president betrays us, tomorrow he’ll betray you. Like I said yesterday, BHO’s anti-Bibi psychosis is really anti-Israel, and the anti-Israel is really anti-Semitism. It’s all coming down, and things are happening faster than we can write.