Jerusalem Cats. Cartoons about cats and life in Jerusalem Israel

23/01/2013 – י״ב בשבט ה׳תשע״ג – י״ב בשבט ה׳תשע״ג – 02:36

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Today! Say “Parshat HaMan” to Insure a Good Income

Don’t forget to say “Parshat HaMan” today: Segula* (spiritual invoking ploy) for a good income – on the Tuesday of the Parshat Beshalach week, our sages tell us that it’s an opportune time to recite “Parshat HaMan”, the story of the manna, the Heaven-sent bread that sustained the Children of Israel for forty years in the desert. One should read it in Hebrew if possible, twice mikra and once targum. If you read English only, then you can find Parshat HaMan in your English Chumash, Exodus Chapter 16, verses 4-36. May Hashem send a wonderful parnassa to everyone, amen!

*A Segulah is an action that someone does with the hope of it leading to a particular result. A non-spiritual example might be that a Segulah for losing weight is to diet. In the spiritual world, however, there is not as close a link between the Segulah and the desired result. [I once saw the word Segulah translated as “nostrum”, which the dictionary defines as, “a medicine of secret composition recommended by its preparer but usually without scientific proof of its effectiveness.]

parshas hamon

Exodus 16:4-36

21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

⁴Then said the Lord unto Moses, “Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a certain rate every day, that I may put them to the proof, whether they will walk in My law, or no.

⁵And it shall come to pass that on the sixth day they shall prepare that which they bring in, and it shall be twice as much as they gather daily.”

⁶And Moses and Aaron said unto all the children of Israel, “At evening, then ye shall know that the Lord hath brought you out from the land of Egypt;

⁷and in the morning, then ye shall see the glory of the Lord, for He heareth your murmurings against the Lord. And what are we, that ye murmur against us?”

⁸And Moses said, “This shall be when the Lord shall give you in the evening flesh to eat and in the morning bread to the full, for the Lord heareth your murmurings which ye murmur against Him. And what are we? Your murmurings are not against us, but against the Lord.”

⁹And Moses spoke unto Aaron, “Say unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, ‘Come near before the Lord, for He hath heard your murmurings.’”

¹⁰And it came to pass, as Aaron spoke unto the whole congregation of the children of Israel, that they looked toward the wilderness, and behold, the glory of the Lord appeared in the cloud.

¹¹And the Lord spoke unto Moses, saying,

¹²“I have heard the murmurings of the children of Israel. Speak unto them, saying, ‘At evening ye shall eat flesh, and in the morning ye shall be filled with bread; and ye shall know that I am the Lord your God.’”

¹³And it came to pass that at evening the quails came up and covered the camp, and in the morning the dew lay round about the host.

¹⁴And when the dew that lay had gone up, behold, upon the face of the wilderness there lay a small round thing, as small as the hoarfrost on the ground.

¹⁵And when the children of Israel saw it, they said one to another, “What is this?” For they knew not what it was. And Moses said unto them, “This is the bread which the Lord hath given you to eat.

¹⁶This is the thing which the Lord hath commanded: ‘Gather of it every man according to his eating, an omer for every man, according to the number of your persons. Take ye every man for those who are in his tents.’”

¹⁷And the children of Israel did so and gathered, some more, some less.

¹⁸And when they measured it with an omer, he that gathered much had nothing over, and he that gathered little had no lack; they gathered every man according to his eating.

¹⁹And Moses said, “Let no man leave any of it until the morning.”

²⁰Notwithstanding, they hearkened not unto Moses; but some of them left part of it until the morning, and it bred worms and stank. And Moses was wroth with them.

²¹And they gathered it every morning, every man according to his eating; and when the sun waxed hot, it melted.

²²And it came to pass that on the sixth day they gathered twice as much bread, two omers for one man; and all the rulers of the congregation came and told Moses.

²³And he said unto them, “This is that which the Lord hath said: ‘Tomorrow is the rest of the holy Sabbath unto the Lord. Bake that which ye will bake today, and boil what ye will boil; and that which remaineth over lay up for yourselves to be kept until the morning.’”

²⁴And they laid it up until the morning, as Moses bade; and it did not stink, neither was there any worm therein.

²⁵And Moses said, “Eat that today, for today is a Sabbath unto the Lord. Today ye shall not find it in the field.

²⁶Six days ye shall gather it, but on the seventh day, which is the Sabbath, in it there shall be none.”

²⁷And it came to pass that there went out some of the people on the seventh day to gather, and they found none.

²⁸And the Lord said unto Moses, “How long refuse ye to keep My commandments and My laws?

²⁹See, for the Lord hath given you the Sabbath; therefore He giveth you on the sixth day the bread for two days. Abide ye every man in his place. Let no man go out of his place on the seventh day.”

³⁰So the people rested on the seventh day.

³¹And the house of Israel called the name thereof manna; and it was like coriander seed, white; and the taste of it was like wafers made with honey.

³²And Moses said, “This is the thing which the Lord commandeth: ‘Fill an omer with it to be kept for your generations, that they may see the bread wherewith I have fed you in the wilderness when I brought you forth from the land of Egypt.’”

³³And Moses said unto Aaron, “Take a pot, and put an omer full of manna therein, and lay it up before the Lord to be kept for your generations.”

³⁴As the Lord commanded Moses, so Aaron laid it up before the testimony, to be kept.

³⁵And the children of Israel ate manna forty years, until they came to a land inhabited. They ate manna until they came unto the borders of the land of Canaan.

³⁶Now an omer is a tenth part of an ephah.

By Staff | Posted in Positive Thinking | Tagged Positive Thinking | Comments Off

Dungeons and Dragons

20/01/2013 – י׳ בשבט ה׳תשע״ג – י׳ בשבט ה׳תשע״ג – 17:22

Dungeons and Dragons-Page 1

Agent 26 contacts Z.O.T. H.Q. and was asked to send in her monthly report.
8 hours later. She finishes off her calculations and sends it off to Z.O.T.
Agent 26: “Sigh all done.”
Mrs. Whiskers daughters walk through the front door with their friends.
Sugar: “Hi Mom!”
Agent 26: “No!”
Sugar raiding the Refrigerator: “What’s for Dinner?”
Spice: “These are good.”
Mrs. Whiskers: “Yes, I made Spaghetti.”
Sugar: “We can start D & D after the cookies.”

Dungeons and Dragons-Page 2

Mrs. Whiskers: “Poor Kitty doesn’t understand a sleep-over party.”
Agent 26: “Who are these human females?”
Sugar: “Thanks Mom.”
Agent 26: “How long are they staying for?”
Agent 26: “Say this isn’t happening.”
Girls: “Yammer, Yammer Yammer”
Spice holding Agent 26: “Let’s set everything up.”
Agent 26: “Noooooo!”
Spice and friends: “Shopping!”
Sugar: “Alright, we have to start by shopping for the equipment for the journey.”
2 hours have pasted.
Sugar: “OK, We have our gear. Now, we choose which way we go. You can go on the East road or the West.”
Agent 26: “I’m just wanting to GET OUT!”

Dungeons and Dragons-Page 3

4 hours later Agent 26 hides under a bed. Sunrise, everyone is asleep.
Agent 26 looking dead tired: “meeeeeoooo.”
Agent 26: “I may need a new place to stay, must contact H.Q.”
Drone: “Just reporting in.”

Dungeons and Dragons-Page 4

Drone: “What is the matter?”
Agent 26: “No Sleep.”
Agent 26: “3 girls came for a ‘sleep-over’ ugh.”
Drone: “You look terrible.”
Drone: “I think you need to find out when they are going home.”
Agent 26: “You think I can just go up to Mrs. W and ask?”
Drone: “Did you over hear anything?”
Agent 26: “Yes actually, they are leaving this afternoon.”
Agent 26: “I don’t know which was worse, when they left for 2 weeks – or the sudden all nighters?”
Agent 26: “The worst was Spice kept me on her lap while they played D & D all night.”
Drone: “Well, when they go you can sleep all Shabbat.”
Agent 26: “Shabbat!”

The Ham from ZOT: Israeli Killer Drone

18/01/2013 – ז׳ בשבט ה׳תשע״ג – ז׳ בשבט ה׳תשע״ג – 04:09

Kichi is waiting for the Israeli Killer Drone to wipe out the Arab Sheep

Agent 26 is staring out the window at the hills.
Phone rings. “We’re sending in a ‘drone’ be on the look-out over”
Agent 26: “copy, Roger.” “hum – sending in a ‘drone’ humm.”
3 hours later, 3 more hours later

The Israeli Killer Drone arrives. It is a Bee!

Page 2
Drone: “Hey Bud just checking in.”
Agent 26: “Huh?”
Agent 26: “Where are you?”
Drone: “Next to your paw.”
Agent 26: “They said they were sending in a ‘drone’!”
Drone: “They did.”
Drone: “They (H.Q.) had to cut back in expenses by the way, I am a drone.”
Agent 26: “The Sheep are on the hill… That way.”
Drone: “Right”
Drone: “I’m armed – it’s a sting operation.”
Agent 26: “Glad your’re on our side and Bee sweet.”