Bread Wars

27/04/2011 – כ״ג בניסן ה׳תשע״א – כ״ג בניסן ה׳תשע״א – 16:35

Star Wars of the Middle East with Darth Vader

Bread Wars -Think Star Wars opening scenes;
Two Arab Rats scheming; Lord Bloodlust: “Vacuum Brain, My old friend, Listen for 8 days the cats forsake eating Bread.”
“For the cats it is a sin. So, in the entrances of the citadel we must sell bread to their non-religious cats to stain them and keep them down!”
Vacuum Brain: “Yes, My Lord Bloodlust.”
Arab Rats selling Pita: “Bread…Bread.”
Rabbi Katz: “After all our cleaning of the Holy City… It has come to my attention that Lord Bloodlust and his cronies are selling Bread at the gates and in their shops. It makes me sick!”
Colonel Corn: “Don’t worry Rabbi Katz I will contact those in power and so shall you.”

Bread Wars-p2

Page 2
Chabad Cats selling Matzah: “Matzoh!” Arab Rat selling Pita: “Huh!”
Cat secret agent opening jar of flies: our Secret Weapon. Arab Rat selling pita : “Bread!, ” Flys buszzing around the Pitas: “Yuch!”
Cat to Matzah seller: “I’ll buy some sacred Matzoh.”
Arab Rat selling Pita as flies buzz around his stand: “Cures”

By Staff | Posted in Life in Jerusalem | Tagged Cats in the Old City., Life in Jerusalem, Pesach in Jerusalem | Comments Off

Charlaine Harris

20/04/2011 – ט״ז בניסן ה׳תשע״א – ט״ז בניסן ה׳תשע״א – 13:43

Betty Cat is reading a Charlaine Harris book.
Bob Cat: “Are you alright?”
Betty Cat: “These are so good I can’t put the books down.”
Bob Cat: “Haven’t you already read those?”
Betty Cat: “Ah yes… But I can’t seem to stop myself.”
“This is just the fourth time.”
Bob Cat: “That’s insane!”
Betty Cat: “I’ll get up.”

Page 2
Betty Cat makes Coffee, Washes the Dishes, Sorts the dirty laundry and puts it into the Washing Machine. Then she vacuums the Carpets, and Cooks.
Betty Cat is back reading a Charlaine Harris book: “Back to Charlaine Harris.”

To Order the book with Free worldwide delivery

Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris ISBN 10: 0441019374

By Staff | Posted in Life in Jerusalem | Tagged Life in Jerusalem | Comments Off

Israeli eggs

07/04/2011 – ג׳ בניסן ה׳תשע״א – ג׳ בניסן ה׳תשע״א – 13:30

“Israeli eggs are so strong that they can survive adversity

A Mother at Jerusalem Supermarket is putting produce on the counter.
The Clerk is weighting the produce.
Mother’s hand cart tips backwards spilling the carton of eggs on the floor.
Mother: “No!”
She picks up the carton of eggs: “The eggs!”
She opens the carton of eggs: “Oh, are you alright?”
12 Israeli unbroken eggs with Berets say: “הזק הזק להת הזק”

You could not do this with California eggs, because they are too scrambled.